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One of the extremely useful rules in Globish is about figurative language. This is one area which is extremely difficult for English speakers when they use Globish. If we use this rule completely, we might think Globish would not be any fun. (However, it is almost impossible for people not to smile when they like each other.) There are three areas Globish observes very carefully:

Idioms such as “crash and burn” (make a major mistake) or “miss the boat” (do something too late) are often difficult in learning any new language, for several reasons: They vary greatly between every language and even in the same language. For instance, British men who are visiting the homes of female friends “knock them up” as in knocking on the door. However, in the American idiom “knock up” means to make a woman pregnant. At times, laughter results from that usage between the two cultures. The person using Globish is understandably confused. In addition, idioms move in and out of popularity in social classes, professions, and different age groups. Say an American young person is told to “shake a leg” – (to hurry). He knows an old person is talking because the idiom was popular in the 1950’s.

Analogies are often used in many languages to communicate new ideas simply. Much of the time, however, they are difficult to translate into other cultures. We may say that an idea is as old as last week’s newspaper. What if someone only had a newspaper once every week? Or sees one newspaper every year? Some analogies can be used IF the speaker or writer is CERTAIN that they will be taken the same way they are offered. (Note that we tried a few in this book.)

Negative Questions Asking for Positive Response. Often English speakers ask: Is it not time for a coffee break? (You will get silence, but no coffee.) Because of these difficulties, it is always a good idea to answer with more than Yes or No. Saying Yes, it is or No it isn’t will resolve a lot of confusions.

Humor may happen if two people see something they both think is funny. It may be a small baby reaching up for whatever she can pull down. Or a monkey walking strangely like a man. People do enjoy each other through shared humor. However, the attempt to create and communicate humor in a new language is dangerous. These things make that kind of “language humor” NOT advisable in Globish because:

Possibly the humor won’t be understood

That’s the best worst case. Even people who speak variations of English may not understand each others’ jokes.

Some people, at some points, will just not “get it”

Even within the same culture, some people may have their mind on something else. Other kinds of people just take statements more exactly than others intend. “I’m going to rope in some friends to help me” may seem like harmless humor. But some people will go looking around for the rope. All of these factors are far more probable in non-native speakers.

Different people think different things are funny

A holy man, for example, may not think jokes about the church are funny. Jokes about body parts seem funny to teen-aged boys, but they don’t tell their mothers.

It can cause high insult to another’s system of beliefs.

Created humor often relies on one or another element of figurative language, which makes its funny meanings difficult to communicate. Also, most humor is usually at someone else’s expense. It usually means we are looking down on someone else. For example, it is very possible that – in the near future – non-native speakers will have many new jokes about native English speakers.

Technical words

Knock

hit with the hard part of your hand, as on a door

Metaphor

word in place of another: "Swimming in money"

Personifications

using a person's name to suggest qualities.

Antithetical

the opposite of what something seems to mean.

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